My Rollercoaster Run

Usually on Saturday mornings I head to the gym for Group Kick and Group Power. For some reason I wasn’t feeling it this morning. I wanted something quieter so I opted to go for a run. 4 miles was my goal, but I didn’t know the emotional rollercoaster I was about to endure as I headed out.

Mile 1

“That breeze is amazing!”
“I can totally do 4 miles, maybe even 5.”
“I feel so great!”
“The weather makes such a difference, I guess I run better in the cool.”
“I don’t think I will even have to walk; I will take a walking break when I finish 2 miles.”
Time: 10:52

Mile 2

“I am getting a little tired; must be the uphill; I will walk for a few seconds.”
“That walk helped – oh man, there’s that big hill. I will run as far up it as I can but it’s ok to walk.”
“I made it halfway. It is downhill after I reach the top so I will start running then.”
“Even though this is downhill, I am still feeling super tired.”
“Must be the music – this song is too slow – I will forward to a new one.”

This is when it got bad. My ipod began randomly skipping songs for no apparent reason.

“I am so F$*(&(# mad!”
“If this wasn’t also my phone I would throw this thing as far a humanly possible.”
“Fine I will just go without music.”
“I am so annoyed.”
“I am so frustrated.”
“This is not how this was supposed to go.”
“I will finish this mile and walk.”
Time: 13:17

Mile 3

“I need water.”
“Shouldn’t have drank so much wine yesterday.”
“Where is the shade?”
“I NEED shade.”
“This blows.”
“This is so unfair. How come I have to work so hard to run and other people can just go out and run 10 like they are note even trying.”
Time: 16:18

Mile 4

“If I walk faster then I will be home faster which means I can get some water.”
“Thank God for the breeze.”
“Even though I am walking, I am still burning calories which is the whole reason I am doing this.”
“I will get it eventually.”
“At least I got out and did something.”
Time: 16:01

It’s not really how I wanted to start my Saturday, but I did it. It wasn’t pretty, but I did it. After reading so many wonderful posts regarding Operational Beautiful, I am trying hard to think positively. It won’t happen overnight, but everyday I am making a choice to see myself and others differently.
Now I am off to shower and clean my house. I hope you have a wonderful Saturday!

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