Usually on Saturday mornings I head to the gym for Group Kick and Group Power. For some reason I wasn’t feeling it this morning. I wanted something quieter so I opted to go for a run. 4 miles was my goal, but I didn’t know the emotional rollercoaster I was about to endure as I headed out.
“That breeze is amazing!”
“I can totally do 4 miles, maybe even 5.”
“I feel so great!”
“The weather makes such a difference, I guess I run better in the cool.”
“I don’t think I will even have to walk; I will take a walking break when I finish 2 miles.”
“I am getting a little tired; must be the uphill; I will walk for a few seconds.”
“That walk helped – oh man, there’s that big hill. I will run as far up it as I can but it’s ok to walk.”
“I made it halfway. It is downhill after I reach the top so I will start running then.”
“Even though this is downhill, I am still feeling super tired.”
“Must be the music – this song is too slow – I will forward to a new one.”
This is when it got bad. My ipod began randomly skipping songs for no apparent reason.
“I am so F$*(&(# mad!”
“If this wasn’t also my phone I would throw this thing as far a humanly possible.”
“Fine I will just go without music.”
“I am so annoyed.”
“I am so frustrated.”
“This is not how this was supposed to go.”
“I will finish this mile and walk.”
“I need water.”
“Shouldn’t have drank so much wine yesterday.”
“Where is the shade?”
“I NEED shade.”
“This is so unfair. How come I have to work so hard to run and other people can just go out and run 10 like they are note even trying.”
“If I walk faster then I will be home faster which means I can get some water.”
“Thank God for the breeze.”
“Even though I am walking, I am still burning calories which is the whole reason I am doing this.”
“I will get it eventually.”
“At least I got out and did something.”
It’s not really how I wanted to start my Saturday, but I did it. It wasn’t pretty, but I did it. After reading so many wonderful posts regarding Operational Beautiful, I am trying hard to think positively. It won’t happen overnight, but everyday I am making a choice to see myself and others differently.
Now I am off to shower and clean my house. I hope you have a wonderful Saturday!